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James May: No ke aha wau i kūʻai ai i kahi scooter uila

He nani nā kāmaʻa hover.Me he mea lā ua hoʻohiki ʻia mākou iā lākou i kekahi manawa i ka makahiki 1970, a ke hoʻopaʻa nei au i koʻu mau manamana lima me ka kali.I kēia manawa, aia mau kēia.

He mau ʻīniha koʻu mau wāwae mai ka honua aku, akā ʻaʻohe oni.Holo aku au me ka ikaika ole, me ka wikiwiki a hiki i ka 15mph, me ka leo nahenahe wale.Ke hele nei ka poe naauao a puni ia'u, no Pete.ʻAʻohe koi laikini, ʻaʻohe ʻinikua a ʻaʻohe VED.ʻO kēia ka holo kaʻa uila.

ʻO ka scooter uila kekahi o nā mea - me ka iPad, streaming TV a me Internet porn - makemake wau e hōʻiliʻili mai koʻu ola makua a lawe pū me aʻu i koʻu mau makahiki ʻōpio.E hōʻike aku au iā Sir Clive Sinclair, e hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā ia ua ʻike ʻia kāna ʻike no ka neʻe ʻana o ke kūlanakauhale uila maʻalahi, a ua hewa ʻo ia i ke kaʻa.

ʻOiai, ua kūʻai au i hoʻokahi i koʻu mau kanalima, hoʻokahi makahiki a me ka hapa i hala aku nei, a ʻae, ua uhaki au i ke kānāwai.ʻO kaʻu ka Xiaomi Mi Pro 2, kūʻai ʻia mai iaʻu e Halfords ma ka hoʻomaopopo pono ʻana no ka hoʻohana ʻana ma ka ʻāina pilikino wale nō, akā ʻaʻohe aʻu o ia mea a ʻo ka holo ʻana i luna a i lalo i ka lumi kuke he mea hoʻonāukiuki i koʻu missus.No laila ua hoʻohana au iā ia ma ke alanui, ma nā ala kaʻa kaʻa a ma ke alanui.E hele malie au.

Akā, makemake ʻoe, ʻaʻole anei?No ka mea, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi ma mua o ka hoʻohui ʻana i ka hele wāwae, a ʻoi loa, e like me ka mea i ʻōlelo pinepine ʻia no nā kaʻa kaʻa liʻiliʻi liʻiliʻi, lele, lele.Manaʻo ia e like me ka hahau ʻana i ka ʻōnaehana a ʻo ia, no ka mea he kaʻa mana a no laila pono e hoʻopaʻa inoa ʻia.

Akā ʻo ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e mākaʻi i ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā scooter uila ua ʻike ʻia he hana ʻole: hiki iā ʻoe ke kau kānāwai kūʻē i ka poʻe e hoʻāʻo nei e ʻōlelo i ka wā e ʻaihue ai.No laila ke hoʻokuʻu nei ke aupuni.Ua hoʻomaka ʻia me nā hoʻāʻo ʻana o nā scooter hoʻolimalima - kahi mea i kūleʻa loa i ka mea hiki iā mākou ke hoʻi hou i ke kāhea ʻana ʻo The Continent - a me he mea lā e hiki koke iā mākou ke loaʻa iā lākou ma kahi pilikino, kauhale ʻOlumepika i hoʻohana ʻole ʻia a ʻaʻole paha, a e like me ka pono.ʻO ka mākaʻi a me ka hana kānāwai ma muli o ka ʻae ʻana o ka lehulehu, a ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hele wāwae.

Akā, hoʻi i ka scoot.Loaʻa iā ia ʻekolu mau kaʻa holo lio - hele wāwae, maʻamau, haʻuki - a me kahi ākea honua maoli ma kahi o 20 mau mile.ʻO ka wikiwiki kiʻekiʻe ʻo 15.5mph (ʻo ia ka 25kmh) a aia nā kukui i kūkulu ʻia, kahi ʻaoʻao kūpono no ke kaʻa ʻana, ka app e pili pū ana, blah, blah, blah.

ʻike ʻia ma ke ʻano he "mea", kupanaha ka scooter uila.Aia kahi hōʻike ʻālohilohi maikaʻi, kahi kīwī lima maʻalahi e hele a hoʻihoʻi ʻia mai kahi plug maʻamau i loko o kekahi mau hola (ʻewalu mau hola no ka uku piha, akā ʻaʻohe mea e hana pēlā).He manuahi ka hoʻohana ʻana a ʻaʻohe koi o ka hoʻoikaika ʻana, a manaʻo wau ʻaʻole he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēia ma mua.

Hele mākou a laila: he mau scoots me koʻu wāwae hema e hoʻomaka ai e kaʻa (he hiʻohiʻona palekana kēia - ʻaʻole ia e hele i kahi ʻē aʻe), a laila ʻomi au i ke kumu a naʻu ka honua.ʻO ka mea nui, ʻaʻole wau e hāpai mau i kēlā me kēia wāwae a kau i mua o kekahi ma ke ʻano i ʻae ʻia e like me kā mākou i kapa ai he "hele";he manaʻo kahiko kahiko a hoʻohenehene.

Akā, i kēia manawa, lilo wau i mea kānalua iki.Leʻaleʻa, ʻae.ʻOluʻolu ma ke ʻano ʻano nerdy, a me ka ʻoliʻoli kamaliʻi.He scooter ia.Akā, no ke aha ia?

No ka mākaʻikaʻi ʻana i kahi hale kūʻai a i ʻole ka papa o kahi supertanker, a i ʻole no ka hoʻopuni wale ʻana i kekahi o kēlā mau keʻena hana physics particle lalo, he mea kūpono ia.Ke hāʻawi aku nei au iā ʻoe i koʻu manaʻo e hoʻohuli i ka London Underground a me nā ala kaʻa ʻē aʻe i ala nui kaʻa.He mea nani loa nā scooter uila ma laila.Akā ma ke alanui me Iggy Pop he mau kānalua koʻu.

 


Ka manawa hoʻouna: Dec-10-2022